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So tomorrow is Luke's first day of school. First day of sending my little boy out into the world, my baby. It is my first day trusting completely that strangers will take care of him for the 4 hours he is in their hands. That they will put him on the bus, take him off the bus and do everything in between. I am terrified. Absolutely, completely terrified. He is so young. He might be 3 but he really still is my baby. He still can't talk, he still is not able to tell you what he needs. He still gets scared when he thinks no one is there to make eye contact with him. He still will fall if he is not properly in a seat. I know as a mother we are our children's advocate but I feel the need to explain to the world that yes he is different, yes he is special, but he is wonderful. He is kind. He is good. He is still just a baby. And I say baby but what I mean is about 18 months developmentally. I feel the need to tell people that, to help them understand. But I can't be there for this. It is the first time I won't be able to explain this to every person that he comes in contact with him. It is his first time he will have to just be Luke. And it will be OK. It will be better than OK, it will be great. He is progressing steadily, he is getting better and better. And this developmental preschool is going to help him learn even faster.
TODAYDecember 7, 2010 7:45 AM
I did it. He left. I am so grateful to such a kind bus driver to help ease my fears. He was a little timid and nervous but he did such a good job.
P.S.I was a teacher, I never thought I would be a mom who had a hard time letting go
P.S.S Best quote of the day from the kid sitting in front of Luke.
"I want to sit by that kid"
He wants to sit by Luke :-)
6 comments:
And this line: "It is his first time he will have to just be Luke." now has me in tears at my desk.
The good news is that Luke is awesome and just by being himself people will love him.
I'm so glad things went well today.
I agree 100% with cori! In tears myself! He is going to be great! Congrats to you for your big "mommy step"! Luvs!
letting go is so hard. I know the first time I left Katie in nursery the whole time by herself, all I could think about the rest of church, was will she be nice to the other kids, will the other kids be nice to her, will she leave her diaper on, will she be scared because I'm not there, will she miss me...yatta yatta yatta... It was way more traumatizing for me than it was for Katie. It's so hard when you want to protect them and love them and keep them from pain, but they have to grow so you ahve to let go. i'm so happy he is doing so well
You are a wonderful mother! I know it was hard for you but you made it happen! I can't wait to hear how his experience was at his first day of school--I hope he made new friends and had a great time. I love the child's quote about wanting to sit next to him--how sweet. ( :
Too cute. I am sure he'll be great! Keep us updated as to his progress!
I can remember that day. Dallin was so little (he was 2, almost 3, they fudged and let him in preschool about 6 weeks early). I will have to send you the picture of him on the bus; he is so littl ehe can't see out the window. I would have to carry him off the bus because he fell asleep on the bus every day. . . I wish I could say that is gets easier, but it doesn't. . .
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