Special Needs

Wow this week has been a bit of a challenge for me. I don't necessarily feel comfortable blogging about it all but my mind and heart just need to speak.

Some things in life are hard. Some things in life are just not fun. You wouldn't wish them on anyone else and you don't wish them on you or your family. But because they are part of your normal they aren't that bad. They are just part of your life, your routine. They are something you have everyday and something that you thrive through. You don't just endure but live vibrantly through them. You know people who have things worse. You know people who have things better. But you have your life, your normal. And that can be just as hard as someone who has it worse or just as happy as someone who has it better. All you can do is take your normal and make it happy, and take the parts of life that are hard and not fun and do the best you can with them.

We are trying to figure out the best way to take care of Luke's special needs. Not with him. The funny thing is it has nothing to do with him. He is doing great. It will not change one thing about his day to day life or the way we teach him or spend time with him. But we are trying to figure out what to do so that he can get everything he needs. It is stressful to decide what is best for your child. Sometimes I don't feel qualified to make those type of decisions. But he will grow and he will be not only be fine, he will be amazing. It is just the process of making the best choices for him and our family now that weighs on me. We have a very "special" insurance :-) and it can complicate a lot of our options. I know once we get things figured out and make good choices everything will be exactly as it should be. It's just the process of getting there I hate. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning in seas of paperwork. I am so grateful for all the programs that are available to help (Children with Special Health Care Needs, PEIP, SSI, Medicaid D, Shriners, Insurance, etc.) But because Luke's condition is undiagnosed it makes it very difficult to get assistance. We have never felt the need to press for a diagnosis. But we need some assistance and there for we need to get a diagnosis. To get a diagnosis we need more testing and testing requires money, time, and very hard days for my little man. It is also most likely that it will put us right back here where we started. With an amazingly affectionate little boy who just wants to play.